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Clown Motel
Ringing Clown Motel. Yeah, this is... Luther. Clown Motel. And I need three rooms for three days. Startin' when? ''Startin' now! ''I'm gonna come in. It's gonna be me, my weights, my barbells, and three days of just workin' out. Mmm... Yeah. Okay... So I'm gonna spread-''' Call me back when you're serious. up ---------------------------- Ringing Mmmhello. Clown Motel. '''Yeah, I'm lookin' for a place to spread out here. I don't know what that means, "spread out". I need a room. We have rooms here. Thirty-four fifty a night is all. Yeah. Okay, now look it. It's gonna be me, my weights, and just a whole buncha workin' out. Pumpin' iron. Okay? For three rooms. There's only five rooms left. Well, I n- I need three of 'em for me and my weights. Now what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna come out there. I'm gonna unload all my dumbells and barbells. K? You mean put 'em in the rooms? Yeah. I'm gonna spread everything out. Got some artillery in there as well. Just-''' Well, we've got two queen-sized beds in each room. There's not a lot of room in there. 'I'm gonna spread ''everything out. I don't know what- I don't know what that means. I'm gonna take stock of what I've got... Right... I'm gonna pump frickin' iron for two to three days straight. And then, uh, we'll settle up at the end. Sound good? Well you can't... you can't lay the... can't lay the... You can't let the iron... the barbells drop on the floor. Uh... we have carpet and tile in there. I'll settle up with you at the end of my stay... and you can-''' Yeah, what you need to do is- What you need to do is go down to Joe and see- '''No, no, no. You can assess the damage at the end of my stay. Okay? Uh... Yeah, I'm probably not interested. If you're- You know, that sounds kinda... Sounds like... you do damage to motels or something... Yeah, we're filling up every night without any problems. Yeah, well I'm on my way. I've got, uh, two humvees filled with barbells and I'm on my way down there. Okay. Well what I'm saying is you gotta go... you gotta go talk to Joe. Uh... we're not sure if we'll be able to do that for ya. Charlie, you're not hearin' me. Got f-''' I am hearing you. I've g'ot f-' I'm telling you we don't want you down there. I'm the owner. And if you're gonna do any damage to the rooms, I don't want you down there- 'Hey-' -It's that simple. '''Just assess the damage at the end of my stay. It's- You'll probably make a lot of noise with the customers next door and stuff. Oh! I'm gonna be eating raw meat in the rooms. Pumping iron for twenty-four hours at a time. Yeah... yeah. I'm not interested. You need to- Oh! -call a different motel. I'm... one of the... We don't want ya. I'm gonna be down there in five minutes. I've got a humvee here. I got two humvees. I gonna.. I'm gonna tell Joe not to rent to you. You s- You sound like you're not too sane. What'ya mean there? Well, you sound crazy. I don't want ya down there. We have cement floors and tile in all the rooms. I- I can't have you dropping iron on any of that stuff. Fella, you're the Clown Motel, right? Yeah, we are. I know that. And we have... We sell out every night is what I'm trying to tell you. We don't need any extra problems. I wanna spread out, and I'm gonna lift my frick-''' Yeah, I think we're gonna pass this time. You need to find another motel. '''Dude, I'm bonded with the state. Well, I don't care if you're bonded. That's not the place to have that kind of... We don't want that kind of... thing to happen. Why not? Because it sounds to me like you're more problem than the little forty dollars we get for a night for a room, so. Call Joe- I'll Joe. Come on down, but I'll call Joe. No, I've already talked to Joe. Well, then...what did he say? He said he wanted a cash deposit and I told him no. Well then you need to find another motel. It's that simple. I'm gonna knock you guys into each other. How's that sound to you? Yeah I don't... You know what? One more word out of your mouth like that and you're going to jail. voice in background Alright, we're eating dinner now. Thank you. I'm having dinner with my family. I don't need you calling me up and threaten me. Where are you at right now? I'm in Pahrump, partner. Well, why are you calling me, giving me this shit for? I'm on my way down there, I got weights to lift here, pal. Yeah, but your not gonna lift them in my motel. It's that simple. The hell I'm not! Wanna bet? There'll be- The cops'll be waiting for you. You go on down. I'm gonna spread everything out that I've got. up I've got four anvils. ---------------------------- Ringing Hello? Yeah, what are your rates over there? Is this the guy with the weights? For the weights, the guy with the weights? Not weights, rates. Rates are $34.50 plus tax but I... If you're gonna- voice in background We're full tonight. We're full. If you got the weights, I don't want ya there. No? How 'bout- How 'bout I knock you around a little bit? Say again? What'd you say? How 'bout you knock- You're threatening me now. Are you in... that's unavailable. Hold it. Where are you located right now? I'll come down and see ya. I'm en route to ya. Are you serious, or what are you doing? I'm a serious weightlifter. What's your name? Luther. Luther what? Luther Manhole. Okay, I don't know what you're doin' but I don't need you screwin' with me, I'm havin' dinner with my family. I got the cash. You got some- You got somethin' wrong with ya. I don't want ya here. I'm gonna knock you around. Quit saying you're gonna knock me on my ass. I'm tired of that shit. Now shut your fucking mouth and get the fuck off the phone and don't call me back. Gonna knock you down. up Category:Hotels and motels Category:Food